February 6, 2023

Rules Are a Must

In order for an FWB relationship to be drama free, there must be some ground rules. Both parties must be clear about what to expect when the clothes are back on. That’s what Melique Williams, a 28-year-old administrator and freelance writer from Washington Heights did with his FWB who happened to be his ex. “We laid out some ground rules (regarding our feelings),” he began. “This only lasts as long as it’s fun. Once it gets complicated (i.e. feelings, romance) then we break it off before someone gets hurt.” When that happened he and his FWB decided to cut it off completely.

However, rules about “feelings” are just the tip of the iceberg. To have an effective Friends with Benefits relationship, there are other questions that must be addressed. Will you tell other friends or is it a secret? How will it affect your dynamic outside the bedroom? There is also the question of other people. Will you sleep with other people or is it off limits? Sure you may be single and ready to twerk, shag, do the horizontal mambo with your friend now, but what if you meet someone?

Suzie Robles, a 35-year-old teacher from New Jersey, had a “friend” that would accompany her to platonic activities. The expectations were clear: temporary companionship and sex. Unfortunately, he was inconsistent. “He would call at all hours of the night but was never available when I needed to hang out,” Robles says. “This was fun and exciting exactly two times. By the third time, I noticed that he was the only one benefiting from the arrangement,” she concludes.

Like most Friends with Benefits, both Williams and Robles had a clause in their agreement. If they met someone new, where there was potential for more, it would be an “out” because you can’t twerk a friend if you’re seeing someone else.

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About The Author

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Sujeiry Gonzalez is a vibrant writer, author and on-air talent that tells it like it is -- with just a little more sass and a ton of laughs. Coined the ‘Latina Carrie Bradshaw,’ she is the host of “The Sweet Spot with Sujeiry” on ChicRebellion TV. She’s rocked the relationship market since 2006, sharing her pearls of wisdom with CNN Latino, Cosmopolitan for Latinas, Latina Magazine, and more. Author of Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles, the 2013 Love Guru on Exitos 93.9FM owns LoveSujeiry Magazine – a community for women to dish on love, dating, sex and The Power of Self-First.

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