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`LLERO’s, we know you have all seen the viral videos of men going all hard-hat construction worker on the street to the females passing by. Thanks to the recent backlash against street harassment and piropos, some guys are hella confused as to how they should approach women. We can’t blame you.

You’re probably wondering, “How are we supposed to meet new women if we’re not allowed to speak to them in public?”

You’re probably thinking…“this is some bulls&^!”

I get that. While I absolutely hate it when strange men hiss at or blow kisses at me, I totally get that not all guys who approach women on the street are major creeps. Many of you are genuinely interested in getting to know the object of your attraction. That’s why I’m sharing what I believe are the best Do’s and Don’ts for approaching women in public.

DO – Note Your Surroundings

Fellas, there’s a time and a place for everything. If it’s dark outside and a woman’s alone, don’t even bother. Seriously Most mujeres aren’t going to want to talk to a stranger on a dark street or empty subway platform because, you know, some strangers be crazy. Your best bet is to stick to daylight hours preferably in public spaces like a gym, coffee shop or supermarket you both frequent. Repetition is key here guys. If she see’s you occasionally, you become more familiar, even if she doesn’t really know you yet. A causal “Hello, good morning!” in these instances can go a long way. But remember: if you see a cutie out past the witching hour and she’s walking alone, keep it moving. Chances are the time of day and location is not in your favor.

DO – Use your words

If and when you’ve established eye contact, follow up with a simple “Hello.” If she seems relaxed and is still looking at you, introduce yourself. Ask for her name. Ask what brings her here. If she seems receptive, thank her for stopping and let her know you’re aware she’s got places to be. Then tell her you’d like to talk to her at another time when you can both get to know one another. In doing so, you show that you respect her time, and that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know who she is. Whatever you do, do not hiss, psssst, or throw kisses at her. She’s not a dog and neither are you!

DO – Ask Questions and Listen

This is a tough one gents. It entails engaging in the lost art of conversation. No texting or Tindering here. If you do make it past the introduction pleasantries be sure to ask open-ended questions that will elicit more than a one-word response. Then listen to that response and seek ways to ask follow up questions, or share your opinions. This is conversing gentlemen. For example:

Guy – I see you’re reading the latest Junot Diaz book. I loved his last book. What do you think of it so far?
Girl – I’ve only just started it, so I can’t say yet, but it I like the way he sets the scene really early on.
Guy – How does he set it? Are the characters believable? I would love to compare notes after we’ve both read it.

Voila, you are now in a conversation.

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About The Author

Tanisha Love Ramirez

Tanisha Love Ramirez lives and works at the intersection of pop culture and current affairs. Best known for her ability to use breaking lifestyle and entertainment news to frame larger conversations concerning gender, race and social enterprise, Tanisha shares her special brand of “news with a point of view” as a freelance contributor for Cosmo for Latinas, The Huffington Post, AskMen, Jezebel, and New Latina.

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