As the music alternated between genres, the better dancers stood out, whereas the women who just did a two-step or were there to bump and grind slowly faded to the back. At that point, my crew was beginning to split. Some wanted to stay for the cheap drinks and dancing, others wanted to move on to the next stop, a local strip club for a more traditional bachelor party. After some debating, we left.
The crew’s experience was evenly split. Some of the guys thought it was a great idea. At a traditional night club if you don’t come in with a girl, it is assumed you’re on the prowl, women’s defenses are up and it can be hard to get girls to just dance with you. If they did, they usually expected you to buy them $15 drinks after just one dance anyway. At the hostess club there seemed to be less pressure on both sides. Women were there to dance, you were there to dance with them; no mystery, no need for a back story. It was a chance to just enjoy the music, sweat it out on the dance floor and have a great time.
The other camp felt like the hostess club was kind of a dirty thing, a bit low on the class scale, full of immigrant women being fondled for a couple of bucks during a dance routine. One could argue that happens at traditional night clubs too. Then again, would a woman feel obligated to let a guy grab a cheek because he paid for the dance? I admit, seeing them stand as they waited to dance got to me. Not being allowed to sit seemed especially harsh for ladies in heels.
Then again, during a night out for a typical bachelor party, you aren’t thinking about feminism or money/sex power dynamics. People do things for money because it is in demand and as long as everyone there is a consenting adult, why not? Years later, I asked two guys who went with me this question: “Would you go back?” One gave me a resounding yes, while the other said not in a million years. Assuming everything was legal at that place, it seems like a hostess club was a much less skeezy boys’ night out than a strip club. So depending on the crowd, the day and the mood, if I had to decide between a strip club and a hostess club, I might just choose the hostess club.
Woman in bra- istockphoto.com/Kertlis
Neon sign- istockphoto.com/Photo Critical