Divorce is rarely a comfortable process to go through, for obvious reasons. That said, like with any difficulty in life, it’s possible to seek your way through it with your head held high. The first step is to avoid doing anything that makes you feel weak. That might involve trying to “score points” against your ex-partner, rising to the argument if they seek to lash out, or doing anything outside of the best interest of your future and the caregiving of your children.
After all, if you present yourself with dignity, you have a much better chance of coming out of this intact. Sure, adjustments may need to be made, like shared custody of your children split throughout the week. Your main goal should be to minimize damage, to advocate for yourself and your children, and to move forward with a sense of closure. This can help you begin to plan the next chapter of your life. Sure, this is much easier said than done. Here are a few measures you can take to ensure this is a reality, as opposed to a difficulty.
Use Mediation Services If Necessary
Mediation services may seem like a last resort, but in actual fact they can be a great preventative strategy to make sure the hard conversations don’t spiral out of control. This is especially true if the relationship ended on poor terms. You can schedule healthy conversations with this effort, designing a mutually beneficial agreement to work through.
Don’t Use Children As A Weapon
Unfortunately, as children are absolutely the most valuable component of any parental relationship, some parents use kids as a weapon. Never do this, and never talk to your children about how one of their parents is a bad person. It can damage them and cause them emotional distress. It’s always important to set a healthy tone despite the circumstances, and to document whenever this method has been used against you.
To explain documentation further, it’s important to keep records of conversations you have, letters sent, legal discussions held, and agreements made. This way, you can make absolutely certain that any less dignified tactics or disagreements can be properly managed. It provides you a solid base from which to communicate. It also provides peace of mind knowing you can prove any communications sent.
Find The Healthiest Settlement
It’s not about winning your point or celebrating a victory. Rather it should be but ending the relationship on amicable terms and seeking the best solution for all involved. That will involve compromise, and sometimes, it may mean letting go of certain assets while securing others. It’s not about dominating your ex-partner with a lopsided deal. But, instead making sure you can move on with confidence and rebuild your life more easily. That may help you secure the best outcome, like a divorce settlement HELOC. For this reason, consider your needs, must haves, red lines, and optional considerations you’re willing to negotiate on. If you show consistent and healthy communicaiton, it will help you in court if it comes to that.
With this advice, you’re sure to minimize damage – financial, emotional or otherwise, despite divorce proceedings.
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