Face it. We’ve all been there. You meet someone. You start dating them and as things start getting hot and heavy, you realize you may actually want them to stick around. So then comes time for “the talk”. The “there’s something you should know about me” talk. Maybe you have a third testicle. She’s curious. Or your snoring wakes up people in another zip code. She buys earplugs. Or maybe you just happen to be bisexual.
Wait, what? A little more information please. In an age where sexuality is more fluid than ever and the phrase “love is love” has been coined to capture that fluidity. We ask does it apply to Latinas dating bisexual men?
What is Bisexuality?
The definition is different to different people, but the American Institute of Bisexuality defines it as “being attracted to one’s same gender/sex and other genders/sexes.” Simply put, a bi person has the capacity for romantic and/or sexual attraction to more than one gender.
So if you’re a bisexual man, what are the odds your new love will be willing to take this relationship to the next level?
It depends on the subset of millennials, explains Dr. Erika Martinez, a psychologist in Miami who works with many bisexual Latinos. “Older millennials (30s) are open-minded about bisexuality, but not necessarily as fluid as their younger counterparts in their 20s. Generally speaking, while the Latino culture has evolved, it is still a more conservative culture that values established gender roles.”
There’s Bad News
The numbers aren’t so great. In a recent survey conducted by the sex toy company, Adam and Eve, approximately 31% of women were open to a relationship with a bisexual partner. Although there was no breakdown of nationalities, Dr. Erika Martinez said she would be surprised if the percentage of Latinas willing would be higher than 20%.
Why so low?
There are a couple of factors at play. “Most people are concerned that bisexual men are more likely to cheat due to having more options, or will become bored with monogamy and leave the relationship,” says Dr. Martinez.
April, a 25 year-old, from New Mexico, had similar concerns. “I think I would over evaluate too much in those beginning months of a relationship. Wondering not only the women he is usually attracted to but men as well now. And in the bedroom, I would wonder about the comparisons.”
Jana, 32, a Mexicana from Arizona echoes this sentiment. “I have enough problems competing with other women let alone a dick. I just couldn’t.”
“I have enough problems competing with other women let alone a dick. I just couldn’t.”
“Another common concern is whether bisexuality results in greater promiscuity, and thus, the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases,” says Dr. Martinez.
But There’s Good News Too
A study conducted by Deakin University found that despite the resistance, women who do date bisexual men praised the emotional depth, sexual intimacy and equitable gender dynamic of their mixed-orientation relationship.
Christina, a 30-year-old from Los Angeles agrees. “I come from a long line of independent, very sexual, Colombian women and it feels feminist to me,” she says. “I think bi-men are more sensitive when they’re open to different sexualities.”
“I come from a long line of independent, very sexual, Colombian women and it feels feminist to me, I think bi-men are more sensitive when they’re open to different sexualities.”
Stormie, a 28-year-old Mexicana from Texas, seconds that. “I would enter a relationship with a bi-sexual man. It doesn’t matter where a person comes from, what they like to do sexually. If you love that person, you love them as a whole. Sexually exploration is wonderful for everyone and they shouldn’t feel ashamed about who they are.”
So what do Latina women think about dating bisexual men? Sorry guys, you’ll have to actually find out for yourself. No matter a person’s sexual orientation, love is a risk. The only way to not get your heart broken is to steer totally clear of dating. Yeah, probably not the greatest plan. You have to just jump in with your partner. Take the chance of being yourself, be honest and see if she’s able to accept you as you are.
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