December 4, 2020

Man Code Rule #3: “You Are What You Drink”

Simply put, men don’t drink cocktails in fancy glasses or garnished with fruit. There are few exceptions — the gentlemen’s martini (think 007 not Sex in the City) or a Corona with a lime wedge. Blue Curacao/Grenadine colored cocktails with extra cherries are unacceptable.

Man Code Rule #2: “Baby Showers = No Man’s Land”

I’ll skip the “birds and the bees” explanation and jump right to baby shower etiquette. Men do not allow their wives/baby mamas to plan a coed baby shower. I don’t care how “inclusive” she wants it to be. No man — the father to be included — wants to spend his Saturday afternoon tasting baby food or wrapping the mother-to-be’s belly with toilet paper. Men should have the cojones to veto this idea, but ladies can make it easier on us by not making the suggestion.

Man Code Rule #1: “No C*ck Blocking”

This particular code violation takes on many forms and is rooted in men’s natural instinct of competition. The bottom line here however is, men do not slander other men in an effort to gain the affection of a lady. Violation of this code is punishable by DEATH! Ok, maybe not by death, but it could at least get the violator punched in the face. A man stands on his own merits and allows a lady to decide.

There you have it; a brief overview of some the top regulations which make up The Man Code. Now go forth and live a happy, code abiding life!

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