There’s a moment many parents experience but rarely put a name to. You suddenly have that feeling something has shifted – not dramatically, just enough to make the days feel weird and the nights feel longer. Your kid isn’t sick – nothing obvious is wrong. Yet routines start to wobble. Moods change. Sleep becomes less predictable.
You start wondering if it’s something you did, or didn’t do. Or if this is just another one of those phases people mention in vague, unhelpful ways. Most of the time, it is exactly that. A phase. But that doesn’t make it any easier while you’re in the midst of it.
The Quiet Signs That Things Are Changing
Developmental phases rarely come with a big announcement. There’s no clear start date. No checklist. They usually sneak up on you.
You might notice your kid is a bit fussier than usual. Or more clingy. Or suddenly frustrated by things that were fine just last week. Maybe naps are a bit shorter. Maybe bedtime is dragging on. Maybe mornings feel heavier than they used to.
Each of these changes on its own seems small. But together they create this sense that the ground has shifted slightly under your feet. Parents often pick up on these signs before they really understand what’s going on.
Why Progress Can Look Like a Mess
We tend to think of development as some kind of forward motion. New skills. New abilities. Growth.
But growth often brings disruption. A brain learning something new is a busy place. A body adjusting to changes is unsettled. That internal work has external effects that can be tough to spot.
Kids may struggle to regulate their emotions during these times. They might resist routines they used to accept without a fuss. They may need more reassurance, even if they can’t quite put their finger on why.
This can feel really confusing for parents – especially when things were going okay just a few days before.
Sleep Loss is Often the First Sign of Change
Sleep is super sensitive. It depends on a kid feeling safe and comfortable, and when something shifts inside them, sleep usually responds before anything else does.
Parents often notice more night waking, or having trouble settling down, or shorter stretches of rest. This is where phrases like sleep changes during teething start to come up – not because we’re looking for a label, but because we’re trying to make sense of what we’re going through.
The thing is, sleep disruption can have loads of different causes. Developmental growth, physical discomfort, emotional changes… often it’s not just one thing.
The Emotional Weight Parents Carry During These Phases
One of the hardest parts of these times is not the behaviour itself, it’s the self-doubt that creeps in.
You start questioning routines that used to work fine. Wondering if you should change things up. Comparing your kid to others – even though you know better. Fatigue makes everything harder. When sleep is disrupted, patience wears thin. Small challenges feel overwhelming. You might feel less confident, even though you’re doing nothing wrong.
This emotional weight is real – and it deserves to be acknowledged.
Why Comparison Can Be a Problem
It’s tempting to try to find reassurance by comparing with other parents. Reading online forums. Searching timelines. Sometimes that helps a bit. Sometimes it just makes things worse.
Every kid goes through developmental phases in their own way. Timing varies. Intensity varies. What lasts a week for one kid may drag on longer for another. When comparison becomes a way to judge ourselves – or try to measure success or failure – it just adds to the pressure without giving us any more clarity. A phase is not a competition. It’s a process.
The Importance of Staying Steady, Not Perfect
During these times, it’s the consistency that counts more than perfect adherence to some ideal routine.
Kids benefit from familiar rhythms – even when they resist them. The routine itself becomes a kind of anchor – a signal that things are safe and predictable, even when their internal world feels chaotic.
This doesn’t mean we have to stick rigidly to things. It means gently returning to what usually works. Offering comfort without tearing everything up. Adjusting where needed, but not abandoning structure altogether. Steadiness is often more soothing than any single tactic.
Frustration Is A Normal Part of the Journey
It’s okay to feel frustrated during these phases. Loving your kid deeply doesn’t mean you get to cancel out exhaustion or overwhelm. Frustration doesn’t mean you lack patience. It means the situation is a bit more demanding than usual.
Recognizing that internally can give us a bit of a break from guilt. We’re not failing because this feels hard. It feels hard because it is. Giving ourselves permission to feel that truth can create a little bit of emotional breathing room.
Small Observations Can Guide You
Instead of trying to find answers all the time, it can be helpful to just observe what’s going on.
Is your kid more unsettled at certain times of day? Are certain comforts working better than others? Does the disruption come in waves?
These small observations don’t have to lead to big changes. They just help you respond with a bit more understanding – and a bit less panic. Often, these phases resolve before you even figure out what was going on. And that’s okay.
Why These Phases Feel Bigger in Hindsight
Looking back, many parents realize that these times were shorter than they felt at the time. The intensity stretches time out. A few rough nights can feel like an eternity when you’re living it. In looking back on it , the finer details get all fuzzy. All that really sticks with me is the sense that you adapt – that you and your kid somehow navigate a thing together.
That perspective isn’t really all that helpful at three a.m. when the crying has stopped and you’re lying awake thinking about nothing. But it can be kinda grounding to remember that nothing stays the same, and even the crappiest of times aren’t forever.
Trusting That An Adjustment is Going On
Developmental phases can be total signs of change even when it looks like they’re going backwards. Your kid is working things out on the inside, learning and growing and trying to make sense of the world.
All you get to do during these times is support your kid through it. Give ’em some consistency, offer some comfort, be present. You don’t have to have all the answers, or figure out how to ‘solve’ the phase. Just be there for your kid.
A Quieter Kind of Progress
What you probably notice when your kid is going through some developmental phase is not just the disruption, its the connection that’s happening too. Your kid needs to be close to you, they need to communicate with you (even if it’s just by screaming and throwing things).
These frustrating times often bring you and your kid a little closer together.
Progress isn’t always about getting better. Sometimes it’s just about disruption, then integration. And when the phase is over it is what it is, you’ve got a kid who’s moved on a bit. Perhaps you’ve figured out to trust yourself a bit more than you did before.
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