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“Yes, porn girls love them some ATM, but unless your girl specifically asks for it, don’t go there.”

While certainly not as taboo as it has been in the past, anal sex is still a little outside the norm in the average bedroom. Strictly speaking, the anus was not designed for penetration, but when done right, butt play can feel pretty amazing. If you’re planning on putting anal on the sexual menu with your girlfriend, there are a few do’s and don’ts to keep in mind so that both of you enjoy it.

Don’t do it if she’s pregnant

Anal sex is best avoided during pregnancy. The first reason to skip anal while she’s with child is that hemorrhoids are a common side effect of pregnancy and could make anal sex very painful. Secondly, you don’t want to risk an infection in her vagina if you happen to transfer bacteria from her anus to her vagina. The most important reason: it will not score you any daddy points. Tell her you think pregnant women are sexy and do it the old-fashioned way.

Do use a lot of lube

Remember, the anus does not produce its own lubrication like the vagina does, so using plenty of silicone or water based lubricant is very important to creating a safe and comfortable experience for both of you. Some companies make lubes that they claim are designed specifically for anal penetration, but any lube will do as long as you use plenty of it. Using a thicker lube — usually silicone — will ensure that your slipperiness will not evaporate before the deed is done.

Don’t use numbing creams

There are a variety of numbing creams and gels available to decrease the sensation in her anus and she may be tempted to use them if she’s afraid of the pain. Not being able to feel the pain could be dangerous, though, since pain is your body’s way of telling you something’s wrong — she could get seriously hurt without realizing it. Instead of numbing her out, prepare her with plenty of anal foreplay using your fingers, tongue and toys before the main event. Most importantly, make sure she is relaxed and comfortable.

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