There comes a time in every man’s life when he must put down the sugary shots of youth and pick up the rocks and glass of manhood. The following tragos should not be imbibed by any respectable man after the age of 30. Why? Because friends don’t let friends sip on crappy or girly drinks in their 30’s.

Malt Liquor

This one is a no brainer fellas. Under no circumstances should a grown man be running to the bodega to cop a Mad Dog 40/40, St. Ives, Steel Reserve… you get the picture. Also on the list of untouchables: Boone’s Farm and Four Loko. One of these was probably your first experience with alcohol. Coincidentally, they share some characteristics with your first sexual experience – dizzying, awkward and somewhat nausea-inducing.

The Alternative: The U.S. beer market is flooded with a seemingly endless variety of suds. Besides your mass-produced domestics (Coors, Bud, Natural Ice), there are tons of craft beers on the market plus a plethora of international brews. Some of our favorites include Chimay Grande Reserve Blue (Chimay), Arrogant Bastard Ale (Stone Brewing Company) and Lagunitas Censored (Lagunitas Brewing Company).

Malt Liquor bottle

Jager Bombs

When you were in college, pounding back a few Bombs with the homies was a great way to pre-game before the campus center or student union party. But instead of beer, some sick fiend has convinced people to drop their shots of Jagermeister into that toxic yellow concoction called Red Bull. By mixing a barbiturate (Jagermeister) and a stimulant (Red Bull), you’re effectively downing a liquid speedball. Not a good look.

The Alternative: If you must do shots, try shooting a Pickleback shot. Picklebacks consist of a shot of whiskey (preferably Jameson) and, you guessed it, a shot of pickle juice. Taking the pickle juice after the whiskey immediately nullifies the taste of the alcohol. And there’s always the ever-faithful tequila shooter. Just go for one of the higher-grade brands such as Patron, Avion or Don Julio.

Jager Bomb drink

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