January 19, 2022

Your Being Ghosted When…

A sign that you are being ghosted at work is if there is chronic and systemic avoidance. As a
rule of thumb, though, if in good faith you have reached out to an individual a minimum of three times – preferably via email as it is documented – and there is no response you are probably being ghosted.

To combat the situation, it would be best that in the third email the subject be 3rd Notice – and start by a) stating the amount of times and dates you have reached out; b) empathizegently in case a personal matter is to blame and c) offer an ultimatum. For example,

Mike I have reached out to you twice during the past 2 weeks, April 1st and 10th, to discuss the pending project. I hope all is well with you and yours. I would like to get back on track and I know things happen but if I don’t hear from you in the next 3 days I think its best I follow up with your team leader.

Translation: I won’t be disrespected or played and I am prepared to move this forward.

What If You’re the Ghost

Your reputation in the workplace and your industry is what is going to open or close
doors for you. Ghosting someone can be seen as lacking integrity, having a low emotional
quotient, not being trustworthy, dishonest and flat out flaky. If you have professionally ghosted someone and you want to regain some respect the best thing to do is to run the situation bysomeone you trust and respect and process the situation with them and practice what you are
going to say/write. Simply start off by a) owning your wrong doing, b) apologizing for it, c)
offer a concrete solution and d) reiterate your commitment. For example,

Laura I have been neglectful in responding to your e-mails. I am in the wrong for this and I apologize for it. Can we set up a time to talk on blank, or when it’s convenient for you? I remain committed to seeing this initiative through.

Be mindful of other’s time and honor your commitments, or like a ghost you’ll be gone.

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About The Author

José is the Executive Director of GRIOT Circle, the only staffed non-profit organization in the country that provides social services to LGBTQ elders of color. José is a Certified Life and Empowerment Coach and a trained psychotherapist. As his writing angles are diverse, he often writes about personal development and growth. His most recent book, which he co-authored, The Happy Law Practice: Strategies to Build Business While Maintaining Peace of Mind, can be found on Amazon. José holds a bachelor’s in Psychology from the University at Albany, an MA in Education and Human Development with a concentration in Community Counseling from The George Washington University, an Advanced Certificate in Executive Leadership and Non Profit Management from NYU and received his Certification as a Professional Life Coach from The Institute from Professional Excellence in Coaching.

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