October 29, 2020

 

2. Never Get Involved With A Woman Who’s Emotionally Unstable

This rule is for your own good, pana. Remember Fatal Attraction? The story of a middle-aged white woman who went jamón on her married lover? Imagine if that kind of woman had the physical attributes and abilities of say, Ronda Rousey. Do you really want to tempt fate like that? Sure she knows the basis of the relationship, but all it takes is a simple gesture like holding a door open that will make her think that things between the two of you are deeper. Before you know it you’ll come home to find your favorite pair of Bunny Jordans cooking in a pot of boiling water with cilantro. With that being said…

FATAL ATTRACTION, Michael Douglas, Glenn Close, Anne Archer, 1987. (c) Paramount Pictures.

3. Booty Calls Shouldn’t Know Where You Live

Come on guys, you should know better than to let a booty call know where you lay your hat especially if she’s a little off (see Rule #2). This is why God invented motels, guys. So you can keep your home your sacred sanctuary. You never know when she could begin to channel the spirit of Alex Forrest and decide to make your life a living hell. Then at very least she won’t know where to find you. Not at first anyway because no one can obsess like a woman scorned… or bored.

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