Breaking up is always going to be difficult. Whether you were together for six months or ten years, whether it was there decision or yours- it’s never nice. If you’re in the process of going through a breakup, heres what you need to know. 


Let Your Emotions Out

Don’t try and put a brave face on things, bottling up your emotions will actually prolong the healing process so let it out. Have a good cry and don’t feel bad about it, sadness is part of the human experience. Crying has been proven to make you feel better, it’s a self soothing mechanism and releases oxytocin and endorphins which can help your mood. Go to bed and shut yourself away for a while if that’s what you need, cry and acknowledge your pain. It’s not a nice position to be in, but once you’ve reached that rock bottom in terms of emotion, the only way is up from there. 


Speak to People You Can Trust

Speaking to a friend or family member is sometimes all the therapy you need. Chatting it through with someone else helps you to gain a new perspective and see things in a different way. It can help you to perhaps realise things that you had been blind to before. Maybe you were wildly incompatible, or perhaps you’d been down in the dumps for quite some time before the split where things weren’t working. You might only realise this after someone else tells you it from an objective point of view. 


Find Healthy Coping Mechanisms

It’s tempting to want to block out the pain when you’re feeling hurt. But drugs, alcohol, gambling and other kinds of vices will only lead you further into a depression. If you already feel you’ve been affected, look into substance abuse treatment programs and get the help you need. Try and find healthy coping mechanisms instead, to take your mind off things as you begin to heal. Join the gym, start a new class, travel- anything that’s enjoyable and gives life purpose and meaning. If you were in a relationship where your ex partner held you back, now is the time to do all of the things you dreamt of doing!


Don’t Move on Until You’re Truly Ready

It’s tempting to go on the rebound when you’re hurting, many of us feel that having another person there can take the pain away. But it’s not true, not only will you be doing yourself a disservice but it’s also unfair to the other person. Wait until you’re healed and in a good place until you start dating again. Learn from the mistakes of the past, and let go of the pain so you’re not dragging past issues into a new relationship.

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