December 2, 2020

Teach by doing – be a better partner

Whenever I speak to a younger single man, I give him this advice – determine what the relationship is with your partner and their parent – because that will determine how they measure relationships going forward. Now that I’m on the other side of that equation – the pressure is on me to set the standard for my girls. How to do this? It’s impossible, really, but one can start by being a better partner to your loved one. Learn how to settle disagreements, show courtesy, not be afraid to display affection and emotion. And show respect for your partner and their role in parenting. Many more families than ever are double income households, and that has turned the old adages of gender roles upside down. In our house, I make the breakfasts and pack the lunches – and my girls will always know a man can – and should – know how to cook.

Teach them that above all, they are loved

Tell your children they are loved – every day. Even when they are punished, they are loved, even when they drive you crazy – they are loved. Even when you had a horrible day at work and are completely exhausted – they need to know you are not tired of them, that they are loved. You’d be surprised how many children didn’t hear that enough growing up because of some machista view that dads don’t show emotion – that they must look to women for affection. We must break that tradition by letting them understand that paternal love is real and abundant.

Happy Papi’s Day!

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About The Author

Miguel Guadalupe is a writer, father, husband and South Bronx-born New Jerseyite. Miguel also writes for The Huffington Post and has also had his work featured on thefatherlife.com, HLN.com and CNN.com. He is currently writing a novel, and manages several of Facebook groups in support for Latino fatherhood, including Papi: The Latino Dads Group.

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