October 27, 2020


DON’T – Reach Out and Touch Her

Grabbing, poking, tapping or touching a woman in any way is no bueno. I get that, in your mind, you’re just trying to get her attention. But in her mind you’re a random dude who just invaded her personal space. If you want to get her to notice you, put yourself in her line of vision—next to the restaurant menu she’s staring down or by the “shoe sale” sign on the corner she’s sure to notice. Next, make eye contact and smile. If she smiles back, you’re golden. If she looks away, she’s probably not interested in being approached. If you find that you’re unable to establish eye contact at all (or looks away in a panic), she may be actively avoiding your gaze. Take a hint.


DON’T – Use Canned Pickup Lines

Using a canned pick-up line is like tipping your pitches, telegraphing a punch…get the picture. It’s obvious, reeks of a lack of confidence and originality, and will often put her on the defensive. As noted above, a simple hello is better, observe your surroundings and mention them, such as how the train is always late at this station, the hot chocolate at the corner coffee shop is primo. Virtually anything is better than a canned line.


DON’T – Take It Personally

Listen, you can be the nicest guy in the world, but that doesn’t mean a woman you’re interested in is always going to want to talk to you. Maybe she’s having a rough day or perhaps she just wants to go to the store to pick up her double chocolate fudge ice cream without getting hit on. Also, remember that for all intents and purposes, you’re a stranger—she doesn’t know you! Whatever her reason for ignoring you is (not that she needs one) trust and believe it’s not about you. Just let it go. Your princesa or next heartbreaker may be just around the next corner.



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About The Author

Tanisha Love Ramirez

Tanisha Love Ramirez lives and works at the intersection of pop culture and current affairs. Best known for her ability to use breaking lifestyle and entertainment news to frame larger conversations concerning gender, race and social enterprise, Tanisha shares her special brand of “news with a point of view” as a freelance contributor for Cosmo for Latinas, The Huffington Post, AskMen, Jezebel, and New Latina.

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