Baseline Jumper – Sharing a dance doesn’t mean you’ll be sharing a sweat-drenched tumble in your sleeping bag. But bumping and grinding is a good way to initiate physical contact and make her comfortable. Just skip the sleazy creep-up-on-her-from-behind approach.
Time-Out – Few girls are going to be enthusiastic about a guy they see running laps around the club. Whether you score some digits or heave up an air-ball, take a few minutes between attempts to rest on the sidelines and study your playbook.
Killer Crossover – After a little one-on-one, you’ll sometimes recognize a mismatch. It’s usually prudent to cut your losses and find a new pick-up game. But if she has a stunningly desirable friend, use the introduction to your advantage and initiate the ambitious switch-a-roo by buying them both drinks.
Control the Tempo – Since females often enjoy the home court advantage of being more polished on the dance floor, practice some simple moves so you don’t get sent to the sideline when Gilberto Santa Rosa comes on. If you can’t even do the perreo or two-step, do what injured stars do: wear a nice suit and stay close to the action.
Pick and Roll – Once you’re established flirtatious repartee, it’s time to get that dime out of circulation. Dragging her back to your vermin-infested lair is unnecessary. Just invite her to a different nightspot or out for late night cuchifrito. If both of you have friends, it’s an effective way to run a match-up zone.
Flagrant Foul – If you’re weary of the delicate dance of seduction and crave unvarnished honesty, just tell her you want anonymous monkey-sex in the restroom. Other violations include “elbowing” (grabbing at the arm of a passing female) and “hacking” (ripping off Carlos Mencia’s insipid material and passing it off as your own).
Full Court Pressure – If you’re solitary when “last call” is announced or the club lights blink on, it’s time to throw caution to the wind in hopes of scoring a buzzer beater. With fast-break intensity, you can get numbers in garbage time — just watch out for lard-laden ball hogs or too-much-Patron chuckers.
By Ben Dietrick & Victor Rodriguez
Image credits:
Basketball hoop and shot clock – slobo
Man with two women – Global Stock
Lounge sofas & table – Nikada
Woman rejecting man – 120b_rock