Because of its subjectiveness, confidence is a construct that is difficult to define. Part of its allure is that possessing it can be quite fluid, full of ebb and flows. Yet many of us know when we have it, crave it or have lost it. Some days we sit comfortably in the belly of it. Other days we can become paralyzed by the lack of, or loss of it.
We all experience periods of self-doubt and crippling fear that shadow our confidence. Having confidence and consistently maintaining it is like permanently grabbing a bull by the horns. It is seemingly impossible. What is possible is the ability to apply simple techniques in our lives that can create deep shifts when we experience a crisis of confidence. Below are five practical and applicable full proof strategies.
Yield to Your Inner Circle
When we feel stuck and our confidence dips, it is the responsibility of our inner circle to carry, elevate and move us through. Remind of us our greatness and our power. Confidence is like a well. It will run dry at times and our core supporters serve as the reservoir from which we drink and replenish. Being vulnerable and reaching out to specific friends and family can facilitate a swift pendulum swing towards regaining and sustaining self-confidence.
Remember Your Accomplishments
When we are in spaces of doubt they are usually accompanied by negative feelings about ourselves that are triggered by our thoughts. A proven way to shift yourself towards confidence is to remember a time – a graduation, a speech you gave, a promotion you earned – that you felt your best or a sense of accomplishment. Sit in that space and transport yourself there. By doing this, positive feelings and thoughts about yourself will resurface that will facilitate a powerful and deep confidence shift.
Create a List
Some people are visual. As such a helpful way to maintain or improve your confidence is to grab a piece of paper and create list of past accomplishments and your reactions to them. Start by creating two columns. One marked Successes (where you list triumphant occurrences in your life). The other marked Results (where you list how each accomplishment made you feel or think about yourself – proud? unstoppable?). Often times we forget the many obstacles in our life where we came out victorious and feeling accomplished. Being intentional about writing out and acknowledging successes will awaken your capacities within and help breathe life into your confidence levels.
Establish New Goals
At the core of confidence is how we feel about and perceive ourselves. A sure fire way to add to our confidence arsenal is to create small attainable goals. For example, increasing your water intake by drinking two glasses each morning or committing to saving $25 each pay period. When one commits to creating new goals, or habits, and accomplishes them you are setting the stage to create bigger goals, greater successes, new accomplishments and in turn sustainable confidence.
Mind Your Non-Verbal’s
Confidence operates from 2 dimensions – self and perceived. As such it is important to pay attention to the behaviors you exhibit that influence how others perceive your confidence level. While there are many, the top three that you should practice and be conscious of are; maintaining eye contact (it facilitates connectedness), possessing a firm hand shake (it suggests authority) and greeting others with an authentic smile (it proposes comfort with yourself and those around you).
