You spot a Latina and think, “Damn! That woman is fine!” It’s an acute observation as many Latinas, no matter what specific culture, are naturally beautiful. Our skin tone comes in cafe, caramel, dark chocolate and even milky white. The locks that flow from our head or kiss our crown range from straight and curly to thick and thin. So much variety in all of us, yet men still believe silly generalizations about who we are as a people, as women. Some assumptions are flattering; being honored due to our full behinds isn’t so bad. Some are cliché; not all Latinas are caliente. As Elizabeth De La Cruz, a 31-year-old Dominican from Lawrence, Massachusetts, puts it; Latinas are not “sexual deviants that are going to sexually blow minds while speaking with a Spanish accent.” As a matter a fact, some Latinas are actually prudish (gasp!). Still, men make assumptions. Specific assumptions that I am here to dispel to help you the next time you find yourself in their company. So take a quick read and learn to side-step those foot-in-mouth moments. Let’s get to it!
Mexicans Are All Poor and Have Tight Vaginas
Mexican women are confronted by men who not only assume they’re poor but are also nice and tight. 31-year-old Tijuana native and U.S. resident, Melissa Burgueno, once dated a San Diego man who figured that his latest paramour was penniless. “He literally assumed I was poor just for being Mexican,” Burgueno said. “He had the idea that he was the rich prince coming to rescue the poor princess from Mexico.” Poor, Burgueno is not. The professional make-up artist has her own company, Make Up Emporium and is a You Tube sensation.
As for their tight lady parts, this comes from the assumption that all Mexicans have Asian ancestry (yet another stereotype about Asian women). Cynthia Martinez, a 29-year-old mexicana from California once dated a Caucasian anthropology major who believed just that. Martinez decided to tackle this vulgar assumption with another. “I told him I already stretched out my pepa™ with a [another] penis.”
Not all mexicanas will have such a clever comeback but rest assured they will not warm to assumptions well. However, if you do stick your foot in your mouth, own up, apologize and be honest about your mistake. After all, everyone makes assumptions, intentional or not.
Puerto Ricans Are Baby Making Machines
This is the universal myth. Apparently, men can’t go near them or poof! They magically become pregnant! Christina Lopez, a 33-year-old Puerto Rican/French Canadian from New York City, experienced this firsthand. “When I was 16, I was hanging out with some people,” she said. “A guy sitting next to me found out I was Puerto Rican and moved a few feet away from me lest he impregnate me. So, I guess the assumption there is that Puerto Rican women are fertile.”
Are they all baby making machines? Lopez has one child and there are some women who don’t have any children at all, like Ronda Hernandez. As a 30-year-old Puerto Rican from Brooklyn, she is often asked if she has any kids. “Nowadays, at my age, it’s a general question,” Hernandez explains. “But after they find out I’m Puerto Rican and Catholic they are really shocked that I don’t have any and even ask how I did not get caught up!”
So next time you salsa with a Boricua, keep the baby making talk to a minimum. Sure you may want to have a baby with her someday, but make sure you accept her with all she provides, child-bearing hips or not.
Dominicans Are Master Chefs
If you’re Dominican, you can cook a meal from scratch with one hand tied behind your back. Apparently, we are that good! However, some dominicanas are allergic to the kitchen. Nydia Mata, a 33-year-old from New York City, is not your next Top Chef. “About five years ago I was flown out to L.A. to do design work for a friend,” Mata said. “During a conversation with his then girlfriend, she said to me, ‘I asked Damien what kind of groceries I should get because he told me you’re Dominican so you’ll be cooking every night.’” How did Mata handle this obvious assumption? She laughed it off, understanding this is what people expect from Dominican women. “Funny thing is, I barely know how to boil an egg, much less create a huge meal,” she explained.
Now, what if you’re the kind of man who loves to eat? If you ask nicely, I’m sure your dominicana would love to satisfy your cravings even if she isn’t the next Rachel Ray. But please don’t ask what she’s cooking for dinner on the first or even third date. She may want to be wined and dined by you before she decides to impress you with her culinary skills.
Cubans Are Mouthy
When men think of cubanas they imagine a loud, brass, tall woman who drinks cafecitos every day in Little Havana. Well, fellow cubana, food columnist and chef, Bren Herrera, is quite the opposite. Not only does she reside in Atlanta but also enjoys peace and quiet like the rest of us. However, Bren admits that she can be feisty, which intimidates men. “They don’t want to hear ‘my mouth’ so they lay low or are ultra-nice,” she expressed.
Do you have to lay low or walk on eggshells with these women? Not necessarily. You can be assertive and opinionated while still respecting their dynamic personas. Just make sure to avoid the words “sassy” or “feisty” when you first meet. The cubanita you approach may be as gentle as a rose. Get to know her before assuming she’s on the defensive and ready for debate.
Colombians Are Gold Diggers and Plastic Surgery Obsessed
When we think of colombianas, most of us think of Ms. Universe. Beauty queens are prevalent in tierra firme, which is why many men believe Colombian women are superficial and focused on the crown, or in his wallet’s case, dollars. Between the pageant factories and true horror stories about breast augmentations (the novela,”Sin Senos No Hay Paraiso,” was inspired by them) and you get pretty nasty and unflaterring assumptions.
Carolina Bolivar, a 28-year-old Colombian from Astoria experienced this firsthand. She once met a man who “seemed very nice and respectful,” she recounted. “Then he just asked, ‘So why do all Colombian girls get boob jobs and are always looking for a guy to take care of them?’” Bolivar didn’t take this lightly and called him out on his naïveté and inappropriate comments. “I went to school. I work very hard to make a good living, and it’s my choice to do what I want with my body and/or to enhance it,” she concluded.
Never forget, no matter who you approach or date; your best bet is to keep the conversation light. As I advised in “Ohhh Nooo He Didn’t Just Say That???” never discuss money or body parts!
So gentlemen, let’s re-cap. We’re not here to moan and groan. We actually want to make your next encounter a wonderful one. But, please don’t approach a woman with generalizations about their culture. The Puerto Rican at the bar may be a quiet storm with no desire to have children. The Dominican waiting for the bus may have a chef of her own as well as a blue passport. The Mexican may be able to show you a thing or two (in and out of the bedroom). And that Colombian chica’s big boobs may just be real! Take the women you meet and romance as they are, regardless of what you’ve heard about their culture. Otherwise, well…. you know the saying. When you assume you’ll make an ass out of you and in this case, just you.
Image credit- istockphoto.com/Swetta