If you’re reading this you’re probably a new papi that’s trying to figure out how to get a decent night’s sleep while your little one is waking every few hours. Or maybe you and your partner have found a steady groove with the baby but you’re anxious to do more than just sleep when you guys get into the bedroom. As you look forward to get that loving feeling back, I’m here to tell you – it is possible. But, it’s a multi-step process that will require patience and determination on your behalf. The payoff though, will be O-so-sweet for both of you. Read on..
Talk to Her
One (or numerous) small compliments will do her head (and your body) good. After seeing her body dramatically change over nine months of pregnancy and take its sweet ass time to get back to what it sorta looked like before, she’ll need a boost. And not the typical “I love you however you look” which to her sounds like “The post-baby weight is a-ok with me ma!” Offering the simplest praise like “You’re doing a great job!” or “You smell amazing today!” can go a really long way. Even if she doesn’t crack a smile you’ll notice that just hearing the words uttered will make her relax. And being relaxed is the first step to getting her in the mood.
Touch Her
Having sex doesn’t mean just getting your penis into her vagina, but you already know that right? It has to start with something much more sensual. A kiss that lingers, a hug that’s a little tighter than usual will do the trick. If she’s into it offer to give her a good back rub, foot massage or just hold her when she’s had a particularly rough day. It’s a good reminder that her body does more than just make milk or take care of your baby.
Get Romantic
While she’s juggling feedings, diaper changes and tummy time, sex is literally the last thing she’ll be thinking about. So, it’s your job to remind her! Make her dinner (ordering take out counts) and crack open a bottle of her fave vino. And if she’s down with it get all Fabio and set up a bubble bath with scented candles and mood music. Whatever works and shows her that you A.) care and B.) are two people who used to paw at each other like a couple of teenagers. How do you think that baby got here in the first place?
Go Slow
Once you’ve got her in the right state of mind, don’t immediately go in for the kill. Remember that her body is still healing from childbirth whether the baby cannonballed out of her vag or she had to have a c-section. Regardless it’s a big physical change and the first time you have sex post-baby really does feel like your first time ever … all over again. Give her time to get warmed up, turned on and into the physical act. Be patient, be kind and use lots and lots of lube.