One of the first things you may hear from a man whose found out he’s unknowingly been wearing the horns of a cuckold (i.e. he was cheated on) is the claim that he didn’t see any signs, red flags aka he had no clue, no warning, no idea that there was any foul play. But the truth of the matter is he probably just didn’t know how to read the signs. In case you’re wondering what these signs look like (and what they mean) I’m here to put you on to the game.
1. She Doesn’t Answer Her Phone When You’re Around
Sure she’ll pick up her cell whenever her “mother” or “sister” is calling, but don’t believe for a second that she’s going to get better reception by walking away from you. Does your very presence have an effect on the very radio airwaves which are trying to make their way to her mobile phone? You may not be Magneto but you’re probably close to becoming her ex, man. If she doesn’t want you to hear what she’s saying while she’s on the phone then chances are you’re going to be in for one of two kinds of surprises: pleasant or painful.
2. She Begins to Question Your Fidelity
This is how it usually starts. She starts beefing that your regular Wednesday night out with the fellas is suddenly an “excuse” to go check out other chicks. Or if you don’t return her text immediately it becomes a massive blowout followed by two days of radio silence. Then, there are the hard accusations. You can chalk this one up to simple insecurity on her part, but let’s call a spade a spade, sometimes the cheater will be the one who’s actually doing the cheating. This is usually the result of a woman with a guilty conscious who fears karma and knows that what she’s been throwing out into the universe could come right back and bite her in the ass. Hence her acting paranoid and jealous. So keep that in mind the next time she berates you about having an affair with some chica named Siri.
3. You Begin to Lose Her Undivided Attention
Her once lengthy and detailed opinions become one sentence responses accompanied by shoulder shrugs to avoid lengthy conversations. Deep stares become quick glances. Finally you begin to feel like something as simple as spooning has become the proverbial fork in the road. Sure it could be that she has work and/or family issues on her mind so she’s not 100% there when you’re together. Even in those instances a woman who’s mentally exhausted will likely rely on her man, lean on him expect him to listen to her vent. But if she starts to become more and more distant then there’s a good chance it’s because she’s getting closer to someone else.
4. She Switches Up Her Style
You might notice that your girl is starting to wear mini skirts with thigh-high boots whereas she would normally rock jeans and sneakers whenever hanging out with the “girls.” Next thing you know cherry red ChapStick becomes Cherry Lush lipstick; ponytails turn into French twists; and Reeboks become stilettos. Plain and simply put, instead of looking and being comfortable when going out on the weekends she’s looking sexy and withstanding the pain of a waist trainer or some Spanx. The more frequently this happens the more likely it’s because she’s Ben Affleck’s new nanny. Kiss her goodbye, hombre.
5. She Disappears for Hours at a Time
This is probably the biggest red flag of them all especially in today’s day and age. I mean this red flag is so big that a matador will borrow this on his way to a bullfight. Now, if this was the 80’s, 90’s or even early 00’s and you couldn’t get ahold of her even after beeping her throughout the day, back then it probably meant she was out and about running her daily errands without any loose change for a payphone. But it’s 2015. We have cell phones, texting, instant messaging, emails, Facebook, Snapchat, Skype, Words With Friends, Uber, Amazon Prime drones… you get the idea. In short: there’s no way you should lose touch with anyone still alive and free for more than an hour at a time!