Men, how do you respond if and when your woman asks about your number of past sexual partners?
Well let me tell you, when I was a virgin, I proudly told the men that I dated that my number of sexual partners was — zero. I almost boasted. Enlarged ego, I knew most women in their 20s had experienced some penis action — through the front or back entrance. Not I. So, like a man that has bedded hundreds of women and brags about it to his boys, I discussed my virginity with anyone who listened. Due to sharing my number, the men that I dated felt the need to share theirs. If not, I’d ask. At the time, I thought the number of women they slept with said something about them; just like the zero men that I slept with said something about me.
Do all women feel like I did in my 20s about sharing their number of partners? Does the number of sexual partners really matter in relationships? Here’s how to tackle the numbers game if and when a woman asks.
Be Honest…Sort Of
When a woman asks for your number she hopes you won’t say the actual number. “I’ve wanted to know before,” said Yahaira, a 39-year-old Dominicana from Manhattan, “but I really didn’t want to know, you know?” So why ask at all? Because her number was and still remains fairly low. Yahaira has been with her significant other for almost 20 years. And she asked him the deal albeit with trepidation.
“I thought the conversation was important ‘cause I wanted to know who I was dealing with.”
In other words, she may not have been interested in dating him if he was a man hoer. So, be honest…sort of. Round down!
It Could Be About Something Else…
The numbers question may come up during the STD talk. Whether you have or have had an STD, this conversation may lead a woman to ask, “How many women have you slept with anyway?” But don’t fret, chicos. Most women just may want to see STD test results. “I’m not insecure to let it [his number] bother me,” said Yvonne from Los Angeles. “I do worry about the possibility of STDs.”
So, if and when she asks about your magic stick’s number, she may just be health conscious. So instead of dancing around the number issue, ask whether the concern is health (i.e., STD) related. That awkward numbers conversation will then likely lead to a positive step in your relationship — STD testing, putting everyone at ease.
Let the Past Be the Past…Unless It’s Part of the Present
A plethora of women from various age groups had this to say — let the past be the past. That’s because women are now much more progressive. Unlike my teenage and college years, women place less emphasis on who you’ve bedded…unless it’s a friend. “I personally don’t care what happened before me,” said Jenny, a 25-year old from Methuen, MA.
“Unless of course it is someone I know. Then I would be comfortable knowing who they were.”
If it’s a mutual friend, she has to confront the situation, and maybe your number of sexual partners. Otherwise women today are willing to date and have sex without judgment.
Entonces caballeros, the epiphany here is this: a majority of women don’t care who you’ve bedded or how many women you’ve seen naked. All that matters is whom you are sexing in the bedroom now. Or as Lorraine from Florida stated, “ I just want to be the last one.” In other words, numero uno.
Image credit: istockphoto.com/Sabatelli