‘LLERO’s you’ve been there before. You’re out with the boys and one of the crew forgets his license. Or maybe you got lucky and are ready to take that nena from the club to a hotel — but cash flow is an issue. Here’s a heads up on some basics that you shouldn’t leave home without before a man’s night out!!
1. Condoms
We cannot emphasize the importance of this one. No, you’re not being overly confident, you’re just being properly prepared. If you’re going to the club to make it rain with hopes of getting women wet, then have that raincoat in your back pocket. And for God’s sake buy brand name jimmy hats. If you’re walking around with those free NYC issued condoms that have the subway line colors on the wrapper, that’s a clear sign that you’ve given up on life.
2. Cash
Always carry the green-backs whenever you walk out that door (that goes double for you Arizona residents, tu sabes?). We may live in a digital age, but nothing is more universally accepted than cold hard cash… and sex. But avoid paying with the latter of the two and carry around some dead presidents. You ever try to buy some tamales from a street vendor using a debit card? They laugh in your face while you starve!
3. A Credit Card That Isn’t Over The Limit
Whatever you do you need to have an “emergency” credit card that won’t get rejected when used. We don’t mean a credit card that’s $10 away from topping the limit, we’re talking about a credit card that still hasn’t even had the activation sticker peeled off yet.
4. Breath Mints
We don’t live in medieval times, so there’s no excuse for having dragon breath (okay, mute people get a pass). You can’t kick game when your breath is kicking at the same time. This isn’t Shaolin Soccer, this is the part of the game where “sweet talk” can make or break your night. So always pack something for the breath. At the very least mint leaves! And no, chewing gum isn’t an option. Mint strips or Altoids always.
5. ID
Sorry kiddos, fake ID’s just don’t cut it anymore what with the scanners that bouncers carry around nowadays. Take the time out your busy Call of Duty schedule, motor on down to the DMV and get the proper ID that’ll help you begin your life outside the living room and give you a reason to pay attention to this list ‘LLERO is blessing you with.
6. A Fresh Button Down Shirt
You just can’t go up in the clubs wearing throwback jerseys nowadays. It’s not 1999 anymore. Heck, even some strip clubs won’t let you in unless you have a freshly pressed, button down shirt that’s tucked into your pants. Yes, even the most savage of places require civilized occupants. So for the sake of entertaining weekends, have a button-down or two that’s kept fresh and clean like a big boy.
7. An Alibi
This isn’t an accessory as much as it is a necessity. We are not talking about an alibi that you can use as an excuse to commit a crime or anything of that nature, just a defense in case you have to negate being involved in something, witnessing something, or denying that you slept with that beastly chick nicknamed Cloverfield.
Photo credits:
Condom in pants- istockphoto.com/bagi1998
Cash & cards- istockphoto.com/kizilkayaphotos
Altoids- istockphoto.com/skodonnell
Man in Black shirt- istockphoto.com/DanielBendjy